The Ellerbrock House: A SkyInn Rental

 
 

If you look it up on Zalix, the web’s most popular real estate search site, the Ellerbrock House in Midtown San Cipriano is just about as lovely as post-WW2 one-bedroom house as you could ever hope to see. Cozy and private, with a front yard shielded from view by tall encircling hedges and a back yard garden that’s just this side of overgrown (but obviously beautifully maintained by gardeners), the Ellerbrock House was originally the home of psychologist Doctor Sidney Ellerbrock and his wife (and former patient) Lorraine Bauer-Ellerbrock. Built to their specifications by the firm of McNaughton and Schneer, it was their pride and joy for more than 25 years.

 

The Ellerbrock House has gone through numerous changes of title, as one owner after another has “flipped” the residence since the early 1970s, but every one of them has made sure to preserve its light, charming aura and beautiful landscaping.

 

Today, the Ellerbrock House is owned by a family trust—the Burrhus-Simbarda Trust—and is a minor jewel in the crown of the web’s most popular rental search site, SkyInn. Aimed at individuals and couples looking for a cozy and relaxing place in the heart of San Cipriano, the Ellerbrock House may be the most perfect destination for anybody that wants to get away from it all while still having a finger on the pulse of a modern, major American city. There are zero negative reviews for the house—in fact, there are few reviews of any kind for it, despite its apparent popularity.

 

There is, however, a single and quite singular ViewTube video regarding the Ellerbrock House that was popular in some circles a few years ago, but it’s considered a hoax—even though it does look strikingly like something shot on a mobile device inside the house.

 

In the video, someone claiming to be a SkyInn renter of the Ellerbrock House identifies herself as “Julia” and seems quite pleased to be there at the beginning. She takes us on a brief and informal tour of the household, showing off the kitchen and bathroom’s classic-style fittings and the backyard, which is “just like being in the middle of a forest.”

 

Nobody has ever identified Julia from the video, though a few people have claimed to either be her or know her. There’s never been any serious reason to follow up on the video.

 

The video resumes as Julia has awakened in her warm and charming bed shortly after 2 a.m., awakened by occasional scratching noises. She is annoyed, but returns to sleep, vowing to complain about squirrels in the attic.

 

About 45 minutes later, the jittery video tracks rasping sounds back and forth across the walls and ceiling of the cozy bedroom. Julia is beside herself, angry at what she calls an army of mice or squirrels that must live inside the walls themselves. “God help these guys if these are rats,” she adds.

 

The video abruptly resumes as Julia sits up in the half-lit bedroom, clutching at her bedding, and the air is filled with a hissing chorus of scratching sounds coming from everywhere—inside the walls, floors and ceilings. “I’m getting out of here,” she blurts out. “This is insane.”

 

Before she can shut off the camera, something pops out of the wall. It looks like a twig poking through the plaster. It sits there for a moment… then it begins to move. Julia screams as she zooms in on the twig-thing and it is joined by another, and then another, all moving with a twitchy, disturbing lack of fluidity. They are clearly enormous insect legs.

 

Or perhaps, as Julia screams off-camera, Spiders. Millions of spiders.

 

We do not see, in the video, what makes Julia scream again as she throws back the covers and looks down at her legs. Fear can do the strangest things to people, of course. Nor do we know what awaits her in the darkened corridor as she bolts out into it, colliding with the pastel walls, as the sound and picture dissolve into chaos and come to a final stop.

 

But you only have to look at a video tour or photo gallery of Ellerbrock House to know that it hasn’t got any holes in its walls where enormous spiders’ legs have punched through thin plaster, nor any sign of anything dwelling in its walls, ceiling, floor or furniture.

 

It’s one of the highest-rated SkyInn rentals in San Cipriano. And you know, people do make hoax videos, don’t they?